Hudi's Home!

There was a serial killer reading a magazine story while eating cornflakes-- he's a serial reading a serial eating cereal. As Faeven put it, he's like a serial cannibalist (I think she meant cannibal).  Speaking of Faeven, she and I went out today to our favorite falafel place, which is really just a yeshiva bachur hangout. She and I had such a good time, hocking it up. And then Mikvah-Jumper Avigayil came along (well, really she was walking peacefully along on her way when Faeven ran out and made her come talk to us), and we all laughed and talked about ridiculous things. And then Faeven and I walked around this store with everything, and I mean everything. You want a boogie board? Neon swim trunks? A tube? Mini spoons? A three-in-one ice scream mixer, slicer, and juicer? And we acted ridiculous the whole time, like if the CH saw me there, he'd probably pretend not to know me. Did I say probably? I meant definitely.  Anywho, did you know that Tzivie is an engaged wo...

What's black and white and red all over? A yeshiva bachur on his first date. Don't ask me why that came out of my brain. I have no answer for you.  So, this week has been seven days. And that's all I can say about it, because I can't really remember what happened. I mean, I can recall certain things, but that's about it. EOOPS, you see. (The "e" is silent.) So let's begin from last week, where we left off after Shana Rishona's wedding. Naturally, after the wedding comes the sheva brachos. So, I went to one of her sheva brachos, the one in Bayit Vegan, home of all the Frenchies.  It was such a beautiful simcha, and the food was insane. The speeches were hilarious and so perfect for Shana Rishona. And it was so nice to see her all married and stuff.  At the sheva brachos, I asked one of the host's daughters for a beige dress. No, I didn't know this daughter. Never met her before in my life, actually. But I needed a dress for She-She's wed...

Breaking news: Girl breaks into the Mir Beis Midrash at night.  How do I know about this? I was that girl. Yes, I forgot to tell you, dear readers, that the crazy author of this blog stole into the Mir Beis Midrash in the middle of the night (okay, it was like 8:00 pm, whatever. Semantics).  It was empty, of course, but I still felt like I was doing something very wrong, which I probably was, now that I think about it. But now that I'm married, who even cares? Speaking of marriage, the CH and I have been having a lot of fun recently playing some games. We played charades and 20 questions. I won always, obviously. Because here are the rules for playing games with the CH.  Rule #1: Hudicus must win, always.  Rule #2: The CH must lose, always.  Rule #3: If the CH happens to win, then the game was rigged, or he cheated. (Don't ask how you can cheat in charades or 20 questions. These are better things left unasked.) The end. Also, one time the CH asked, "What play ar...

Alrighty, everyone. It has happened. I have finally turned the CH into a true HudiintheHolyLand fan. This is how it went: I said, "I think we should go write my blog together right now," and you should have seen how he jumped up and ran to get my computer. He was so excited. It was maybe the single most exciting moment in my life. It's official. The CH loves my blog.  Besides for that very exhilarating change, much else has happened this week. I mean, I'm sure many things have happened. I just can't remember most of them. EOOPS, you see. I do remember a very fun event that happened last week: My undad had his 26th birthday!! So I dragged the CH to Beit Shemesh for a surprise part organized by my unmom. It was so many muches of fun.  There was cake and some alcohol. Oh, everyone was so mean to me. They told me that this type of alcohol was honey and it was sweet and they promised me I would like it. Guess what? I don't think my throat will ever be the same. Alc...

Lesson for life: do not--I repeat--do not go shopping in Osher Ad right before Pesach. Because you are not supposed to rely on miracles. And if you get out alive, without a scratch, with all of your groceries  intact, within three hours, it's a miracle.  Anywho, let's talk about that holiday of freedom, where the matzois are more abundant than the air that you breathe and the maror is supposed to be bitter, but not really 'cause it's just lettuce, and lettuce ain't yummy but it ain't bitter either. Oh well, I'm not complaining. Thank you, Rabbanim, for watching out for my poor taste buds.  So, first day(s) (I still sometimes forget that I'm a shtickle Israeli and only have one day of Yom Tov), the CH and I were in Ramois, along with the Arbachs (that is for sure not how you spell it, but it's not like they're ever gonna read this brain-cell losing piece of literature that I call my blog). The seder was hilarious. There were like three different s...

I sat in a fridge yesterday, like actually sat in the fridge. Being short is good for some things, I guess, like cleaning out a fridge for Pesach. No, it was not my fridge, because even I, the shortiest of the shorts (that sounds off), could not sit in my fridge. And that's because it is small. Wow, that was highly intelligence.  Anywho, moving on from me having a chill (ha, pun intended) in the fridge, last week was Rosh Chodesh. So, the CH (that's Chushoova Hoosband for all you peeps who have OPS--that's Old People Syndrome for all of you who have YAS--that's Young and Stupid for all of you have EOOPS--remember, the 'e' is silent) made shnitzel in honor of the new month. And it came out so good. You know what that means? I ain't making shnitzel ever again. He he.  Shabbos was spent in the Old City with my sister and brother-in-law. We had such a grand time, missing the last train and walking all the way to the Old City. It's such a great walk, though. ...