Super-baby

You can't kill me, everyone; I have a child to care for. No, not for babysitting. No, not my toy dolls (I told you not to tell everyone about that). It's my real-life child. She's real. If you don't believe me...you're smart. But I'm not even lying this time. I'm telling the truth. 

Pretty much, I have to an issue an apology to all (read: maybe one) of my fans that I have not written this blog in some time (read: like seven years), but I have good reasons. Let's go through them: 

1) I was sick for like 3 months, because of the aforementioned child that is mine. 

2) I didn't wanna

3) I left the school-that-must-not-be-named and so I was no longer crazy stressed and didn't need this blog to be my stress-relief, and I didn't have heresy classes to write it in anymore

4) I had really bad writer's block

5) I am no longer funny or weird because I have to be an adult, as there is an actual child in my house now. 

6) I forgot

I think those reasons are sufficient, so please put away the guns and knives. We can settle this like gentlemen. 

Okay, also the pitchforks. Those can be put down also. 

Okay, seriously? Where did you even get a chainsaw? Turn it off and get it away.

Thank you. Now that all the weapons are away, we can talk civilly. 

So much has happened these past few months, I don't even know where to begin. Many of my friendsies got married (there's Faeven, Tzivie Shpiegs, famous friend Tzip, red-headed Rivka Esther, and others I'm probably forgetting). So I went to many weddings, bH, and I danced (except when I was like seven thousand months pregnant and couldn't even walk outside without feeling like I was old and decrepit (I'm not saying all old people are decrepit, because that could be insulting to some old and decrepit people)). 

I don't even know how many Shabboses passed, but all of them were nice, I think. Except when I was like seven thousand months pregnant and couldn't even eat without sharing the food with a toilet (that was a pretty nice way of saying I threw everything up). 

In other news, I have two new nieces, so I can finally say nieces and nephews instead of niece and nephews. I think I made up a word for nieces and nephews--bloofs, maybe. If it wasn't that word, now it is. 

I also have a new niece on the CH's side. His nephew got married--I say his nephew and not mine because it's so weird that I have a married nephew. So that wedding was super nice. It was in Yerushalayim, so there were only drums, and it was awesomeness, for lack of a more sophisticated word. 

This nephew is one of the Wallgelanters (now I'm just being mean). I'll call them the Wollgys from now on. Speaking of the Wollgys, once upon a time, like a hundred years ago, the CH and I walked to the Kois one night and then hung out with them, and they invited us for Shabbos. Yes, it was Thursday night at 10:00 pm. That's always when I invite people for shabbos, too. So we did take them up on that. She made her own herring. How could we not?  The father Wollgy said, "My wife is a Rebbe." If you know my sister-in-law, you know that it actually makes sense. 

Next up: Shloims had a baby girl to be friendsies with my daughter! So many mazal tovs all around. 

Speaking of my daughter, she is super cute, duh, and she makes very funny faces (I mean, look at her mother. Does she even have a choice?), and she is a super-baby (she's rolled over like five times--yes, I'm aware she's only 3 weeks old. Pretty sure I was there when she was born), and she really likes to eat and sleep(like me!). My mommy-wommy came in to Israel to help me out. I need lots of help. She organized our entire house. Why, you ask? Well, we actually moved apartments on Sunday, and the little one was born on Friday. So as I was having contractions and trying not to give birth at home, there were suitcases littered around, just waiting patiently to be unpacked. No, not by me. By my mom, blessed be her soul. 

And now I think I have to go, because I hear little noises that are telling me I'm needed for food. This kid just uses me. 

Hope you enjoyed. If you didn't, you're wrong. 

Toodles from Hoodles!





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