Nasal Discrimination

How do you know if you're a lefty or a righty when it comes to archery? An experienced archer once said that you know based on what hand you pick your nose with. Tzvi, my esteemed bro-in-law, said with a tsk tsk, "It's nasal discrimination."

Yes, my sister--that's the Kallah Hakedoisha, let me remind you--and her hubby are in the Holy Land. And it's been just one fabulous moment after another, chock full of laughter and hugs and nonstop chatter and all good things. 

Let's jump right into it with Shabbos. Wow, Shabbos was insane. I went to the Steinsy's on Thursday night to welcome Malta and Tzvi, so my unparents and I were hanging out, enjoying life and the peace and quiet that was soon to be shattered with the most lovely arrival of my sister and husband. 

They knocked on the door. I screamed, Mrs. Stein screamed, Mr. Stein did not scream, we opened the door, and there were hugs all around and lots of jumping up and down like hyper kangaroos. 

We picked up like we never left off, like it was still Malta and me as crazy teenagers just hanging out and being all nutsos with our unparents. Of course, Tzvi was a new addition to this, and he fit right in, after some very confused looks of course. 

Friday morning, my crazy sister and husband woke up to go to the Koisel, so they woke me up so I could lock the door behind them. Aren't they so sweet? It was actually fine. 

And then we got ready for Shabbos, made our requisite phone calls, and then the peacefulness of Shabbos set in. And then...hilarity ensued. The Friday night meal was quite the experience, with some parsha questions and some very interesting answers (did you know that Pharaoh could make crow noises?), with lots of laughter and reminiscing about girl scout days and Richmond, with Malta and me saying the same thing at the same time multiple times, which was kind of creepy, not gonna lie. Obviously, we all ganged up on my undad, because why not? It's fun. 

And after the meal, we did some What If questions, during which Malta and I fell asleep, thereby missing all the good discussion. 

Shabbos day was so nice, as well. There was some talk about dying in toilets, but not too much. And there was very excited talk about the imminent wedding of the weirdo known as Hoodie. And there was laughter, so much laughter. And there were the rare moments of comfortable silence, after Malta and I had washed our hands for Hamotzi. 

For Shaleshudis, Shira S. came over with a friend, and we all had a grand old time. 

But the fun wasn't over yet. After Shabbos, Malta, Tzvi and I went to Ramois to my cousins for a beautiful melave malka. My chosson came along (poor him), and he finally saw my true colors. I think he was a bit concerned, confused, and wondering why his kallah was acting like a hyper 5-year-old who had just eaten an entire box of Krispy Kreme donuts. 

And then Sunday began the dreaded day of starting to study for the dreaded finals. I hate finals. I don't like talking about them, because they make me sad and upset and wanting to eat all of my chocolate twizzlers, but then I won't have any left, and that would make me more sad and upset, and it's all a very vicious cycle. 

So, let's skip that and go to the fun part. We signed on a apartment! And it's super cute and pretty close to school, and I'm very happy about it. Yeah!

Also, yesterday, my unparents took the newlyweds and me out to lunch, which was really nice. We did have a bit of a fiasco finding a place we all could eat at, and we ended up driving twenty minutes away only to return to their apartment and walking across the street to the pizza place there. And then there was ice cream. Note to Self: Do Not Get Large. That's for you, Mr. Stein.  

And then today, I went out again with my darling sister and her husband and my chosson. We hung out in Geulah, and I think this time, I didn't scare him as much. 

And now for the Strange Snippets of the week: 

Water-girl Nava: "I would make a terrible Rebbetzin, because...I just don't like people." I don't usually like to agree to people saying they would be a terrible Rebbetzin, but I kinda have to agree with her on this one.  

Last week, we were complaining to our teacher about how unfair and hard life is for us, and she responded, "Marry well." It was hilarious. 

There was also the conservation last week about eating a placenta, which would be weird in and of itself, but it's worse when you hear what my friend piped up: "Wait, I don't think you can eat the placenta. I had this conversation with my parents." Yeah, I don't think I want to be a fly on the well for the conservations that happen in her house. 

And now we have a whole bunch from our hilarious teacher who watches himself teach. I hope you're ready for these, and just keep in mind that they were all said during a class about operating systems. 

"Call me Richard, not Miriam." Um, I think your name is Nachum. 

"So, they were very very careful with the Czar's son." What does that have to do with process scheduling, exactly?

"We are social hemophiliacs. Someone says something to you, you're gonna die." That's deep, actually. 

"Fortunately, I only find out about all this when I watch YouTube." Yeah, that's where I get all of my important information from, as well. Also Wikipedia. 

"They had a kid called Rover in the class. He can walk, but he goes around in a wheelchair because he thinks he's a car. He rolls into class. He's a she, the kid's a car, it's all very normal." Sad, but the way he said it was so funny. 

And then the, "It's like having a heavy cart being pulled by two poodles." 

He is so funny. You know what else is funny? Not finals. Pray for me. 

Toodles from Hoodles!