Malta, the Married Woman

She's married!! I repeat, she is married. A married woman, she is. However you say it, it means the same thing. We've married her off, we did it, weee Tzvi is the one. And her life as a wife has finally begun! (If you got the HP reference, good for you. HP, obviously meaning Hashgacha Pratis and/or Hercule Poirot and/or Harry Potter and/or house pie and/or health point and/or happy place.) 

But, for now, let us speak of times long ago, when my sister was still just a Bart. I speak, of course, of last week. 

I was on vacation for the first time in a very long while, and it was glorious. Malta and I made pizza crusts for old times sake. It was very cute, but I was literally sore the next day from rolling out all of those pies. 

A dear friend and mentor came over with her kids to see us. We hung out outside, ate cookies, and spoke. We were speaking of plays, and she said, "I didn't know there were frum girls who had bad voices until I came to Richmond." I burst out laughing, because I can read between the lines. She really meant to say, "until I met Hudi", but she was too nice to say that outright. 

One night, we had family game night, where we played code names. Now, everyone, are you ready to play a game?

Here are three words: pin, marble, bond. Now, if I say the word attached, which word would you guess first? If you guessed marble, congrats! And if you understand why marble would fit with attached, congrats again. You have...kallah brain! We were playing with Malta, the Kallah Hakedoisha, as Netama and I so dubbed her (we called her this every spare moment of every day. She wanted to kill us. It was quite fun.), and Malta chose marble to go with the word attached. And not only did she choose it, she was all smiles like, "Yeah, this makes sense." She was so proud of herself for her intelligence. Kallah brain is the only answer for this insanity. 

Then Shabbos came--Malta's last Shabbos as a single woman. It was such an amazing Shabbos. A cousin came down to spend it with us, and a friend from Richmond who lives in Israel also came. So, it was really nice. We baked many muches of cookies and cooked up a storm. 

It was a very emotional Shabbos, understandably so. But it was also full of fun and laughter and some awkward moments where I was too charif and not PC at all and upset some people. Oops. Guess I still do some faux pas (pronounced fo pos). 

Sunday was the trip up to New York. On the way up, we stopped off in Passaic for my nephew's upsherin. His name is Yitzy-boo, and he's the craziest kid ever. But now that he no longer has wild curls poking out in every which direction, he might be less crazy. Only time will tell. The upsherin was very cute, and I met one of my nephews for the first time ever. 

And then, after that, we made our way to Monsey, where were staying at some cousins for the nights before and after the wedding. 

We got settled in, Netama and I sharing rooms with Malta. We followed her around like a hawk, annoying her to no end. It was such fun. She actually escaped once, which was really funny.

I taught my mom and sister a dance that we were planning on doing at the wedding. It happened to be the gush dance that mikvah-jumper Avigayil and I learned for no reason at all. But it came in handy here. 

And then, at 8:30, we get a call from my oldest sister, who was supposed to land in JFK at around 6 ish that night. She calls to say that she and her family (that's her husband and two kids) are right now in North Carolina. Why were they in NC? Well, their flight got cancelled, so they drove from Atlanta that day and were planning on spending the night in Richmond and then driving up to Monsey the next day (the day of the wedding). So, that was dramatic, to say the least. 

Netama, Malta, and I spent some time listening to songs, talking, and being overly dramatic. And then, we all got some sleep (or tried to), and it was suddenly Monday morning. 

Wedding day started way too bright and early. The singles--Malta, Netama, and I--plus my mom made our way to the hall at 10 am. And then it was makeup and hair and complaining about makeup and hair and touching up makeup and hair and calling Malta Kallah Hakedoisha and following her around and driving her absolutely nuts until 3:00, when pictures began. 

Remember about my sister whose flight got cancelled. So, they did not make it in time for pictures at 3. So that was kind of stressful. 

But, Tzvi's fam is smaller than ours, so they finished pictures earlier than expected, and we got some time to do more pictures before the kabbalas panim at 5. 

We all behaved, surprisingly, and got the pictures we needed. And then the wedding began. 

It can be summed up in a one short sentence. It was beautiful, and I bawled. Before the wedding, during the bedeken, during the chuppah, during dancing. It was just one big crying fest. My father actually said he saw me crying during the chuppah. How awkward is that?

But it was such a beautiful wedding, and how could it not be? Malta and Tzvi are both such special people. 

Wow. I think I'm gonna start crying again just thinking about it. 

Anywho, the wedding was incredible. I danced like crazy, did all the wonderful shtik, and just enjoyed every moment. Some friends from seminary actually surprised me by showing up, which was awesomeness. 

And then, the day after, we drove back down to Richmond. It was quite an entertaining car ride. With Barrel, Netama, Aharin, my parents, and myself, how could it not be super funny?

Barrel regaled all of us with his wonderful abc game fail. And we all danced and sang terribly.

My oldest sister and her husband and two kids came down, as well. So now, we have two adorable kiddies in the house. 

And now, my hands are tired from typing this whole saga. So, I'm gonna peace out. 

Toodles from Hoodles!