Blond Hairballs

How do I even begin to explain what I found out this week? How do I formulate the life-changing, life-transforming words that were told to me this week? It is too great a task for little old me. I must call upon the words of our great Sage, Shana Aleph, who spoketh these words that forever changed my life: 

Rumor has it, if you've ever had mono, and you get corona, your mono can come back. So...
YOU MIGHT ACTUALLY HAVE MONOOOOO
#crazy
#monoForLife
#MaybeGetABloodTestForReal...?
#BlogWorthy

So, yes, everyone. I might actually still have mono. 

Anywho, after that, who cares what else I write? But I did want to do a semi-interactive activity with all y'all. It's gonna be a Q&A, about my chosson. 

Now, I know that many of you are wondering certain things about this mysterious R. Dilman, and it is my job as the mediator to answer any and all questions and put to rest any lasting doubts and concerns you all may have. 

Let us begin with the first question, sent in by @NetamaBartdoodoodoodoodoo:
Does he have a good voice? 
Solid question, not gonna lie. When I was in 12th grade, that was one of my five criteria for a husband. Not gonna mention the other four. Better left in the past. 
He does have a good voice. I have heard him speak. And I don't want to close my ears and cry and plead and beg him to stop when he speaks. So, yes, I believe he has a good voice. 

The next question, offered by @Flodder:
Does he know that you have mono? 
Well, if he reads this blog post (which I hope he doesn't), he does now. 
Before this blog post, I did mention to him once...or twice...a minute...all summer (if you got the HP reference, very proud of you) that I had mono like three years ago but pretend I still have it, and he was a shtickle confused, but it was all okay.

Right after that is @ParentalUnitNumberOne with this banger of a question: 
Is he tall?
I knew I was gonna get that one. So, I'll just answer with two simple sentences: Compared to me, yes, he is tall. Compared to Robert Wadlow, no, he is not tall.

@MaltaAndTzvi sent in the next question: 
Does he know you're crazy? 
Well, am I crazy? I think that is the more pertinent question that should be answered. But since this is a Q&A about him and not me, I guess we'll have to leave that aside for another day. 

Then, it's from @WeDon'tHaveAnyBarrelsHereButWeSureGotSomeKegs with this: 
Where does he learn? 
Look at my holy little bro, asking about Toirah. He learns in yeshiva, Baruch Hashem. 

Now, let's hear from @SazaAndIzzy who asked: 
What's his personality?
His personality, according to the dictionary, is "the combination of characteristics or qualities that form his character." Thank you for asking that vital question. Hope my answer satisfies your curiosity. 

Next is @AharonMoshePickleFace who wonders:
Does he like sharks? 
Do you think I would marry him if he didn't? 'Nuff said.

We have one from @TheOnesWhoWait3Hours:
How many hours does he wait? 
Well, he is not Dutch, unfortunately. So he waits more than one hour. 

And our last question from @WeOwnGunsCuzWeProudTexans is this: 
Did you hypnotize him or something? How on earth did you get a male to propose to you??
That's the question I was waiting for. I actually concocted a potion consisting of pencil shavings, crushed up green tomatoes, and blond hairballs and fed it to him. And he proposed. Coincidence? I think not...

So, I hope that gave you all clarity to the burning questions you had about my chosson. Any other questions may be posted in the comments below, and I will try my best to answer them as unsatisfactorily as possible. 

About my week...Well, I went to Neve Yaaqov for Shabbos. Friday night, I was fine. I hung out with the Seiberts, and it was all really cute. Then, I woke up on Shabbos morning with fever, so I stayed in bed all day. That was not fun. 

I continued to feel unwell Sunday and Monday. Mikvah-Jumper Avigayil and I had fun together, both sickos and stuck in bed for hours. We ended up watching odes for like two hours. 

Finally, yesterday I felt slightly better, so I plucked up every ounce of girly courage I possessed and went clothes shopping with Faeven. Then I went to the kois, and then I went back the dorms, and it was a good day. 

And then the Strange Snippet of the week happened last night at some time past 10:00 pm. "Sometimes in life, you just need to cut the drawstring, and then your pants will fit you better."

The end. Finis. 

Toodles from Hoodles!

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