Fried Tide Pods

I have found them, at last. After many years of searching and wondering and questioning, I have found another family...who says Tehilas Hashem. Yes, dear Barties. You no longer have to say after the first paragraph, "No one says Tehilas," because my friend's family does say it, in fact. I was all set to mumble it quickly to myself before the bentching began, but then they started singing it, with Hashem's name even, and I was so happy and surprised that I almost cried. But it was Shabbos, so I didn't. But I was very many happies that Shabbos, for other reasons that we will get to shortly. 

But, alas, I have begun in the middle of my week, and we should go in order here so everyone can lose their brain cells methodically and periodically. So, let us begin from last week. 

I was tired last week, tired and sick and dehydrated. My mono didn't help matters much, either. Neither did all the homework that I had to catch up on, but I was so tired that I just slept all day and so I missed out on more homework and classes on which I then needed to catch up, which just made me more stressed and unwell. What a vicious cycle. Now I'm better, so I have begun to catch up. Still a long way to go, but it's going along slowly, very slowly. 

So, besides for sleeping, nothing very exciting happened last week, I'm sorry to say. But don't be too upset, for Shabbos more than made up for the boringness of my life. 

I did go shopping, which I thought was highly impressive, considering I was practically sleepwalking. The store was basically empty. I went in with a list so long, you could barely see the white of the paper, and I left with tide pods and rice cakes and walnut oil. Walnut oil fried tide pods sandwiched in between rice cakes is the new delicious and nutritious meal. Slightly exaggerated there, but the store was out of many things. I managed to get some edible things there. 

And now it's time for...drum roll please...Nerdy News!

Reporter: "Hudicus, what did you do that is Nerdy Newsworthy?"

Hudicus: "Um, well it wasn't me. But something quite nerdy did happen to me on Shabbos."

Reporter: "Only one thing?" 

Hudicus: "No, but this thing is especially nerdy."

Reporter: "Do tell, do tell."

Hudicus: "So, pretty much, I have a famous friend. We'll call this friend Tzip. And she was in a magazine, with her picture and everything. Super cool, right. Now let me describe the appearance of said friend. Red hair, tall, freckles, no glasses (I think). On the other hand, I have brown hair, am short, wouldn't know a freckle if it hit me on the head--or on my face--and have very prominent, bright blue, always dirty glasses perched on my nose. So, not twins by any stretch of the imagination. 

"So, I went to Tzip's house on Shabbos. More on that later. On Shabbos day, some random person comes in, sees me on the couch, and asks, 'Can I have your autograph?'

"I was confused but obviously flattered. I assumed it was because of my CMS (Chronic Mono Syndrome). I always knew I'd be famous for that one day. So, I replied, 'Of course. Thank you for showing your interestedness in my amazingness. After Shabbos, remind me.'

"And then Tzip walks in, and the person looks at her, then me, then her again, and says, 'Wait, are you the famous one with the article in the magazine and not the dorky girl with glasses who isn't important in the slightest?' 

"After getting the affirmative answer from my friend, this person realized he had mixed us up. Must have been because we look so similar. So, that was kind of nerdy."

Reporter: "Wow, that is awkward, for everyone involved. Glad to hear that your nerdiness has not disappeared totally."

Anywho, I might have exaggerated the above story slightly, but I was asked for my autograph, and the person who asked me did confuse me with Tzip. So, that part did happen.

Shabbos was so incredible. Tzip's parents are such cool people, and they have such cool guests. Like Etan G. (the Shlock Rock rapper) and his son. After much deliberation, Tzip and I decided not to tell him about our binary rap. I wonder what he would've thought about that masterpiece of music. 

The meals were hysterical and beautiful and fun. Learning kashrus halachos in between reminiscing about old day Baltimore NCSY with some Shabbos singing thrown in. It was great. And the food was out of this world. 

Shabbos day, I went to a shiur by Mrs. Smiles. It was about loving people and being nice to them, which I sometimes have a difficult time doing. It was a great shiur, and the only annoying thing was that it was on Shabbos, and I couldn't take notes on it. And seeing that my memory sometimes fails on me (early OPS, I presume), I might not recall all the details of what she said, but I think I'll remember her main points. 

I also had an intense hashkafic discussion with aforementioned famous friend Tzip after the shiur. 

I read Tales out of Shul, which has that perfect blend of hilarity and depth and intensity.

So, a great Shabbos, just what I needed for my first Shabbos back in the Holy Land. 

Motzei Shabbos, Tzip and I got a nice surprise. Shloims had returned. She was back in the apartment, waiting for us. Yeah! We got to see all the pictures from her vort and examined her ring. We're so happy for her. 

Last night, two of my friends and I went to the koisel and then to a shiur by Rabbi Kelemen, where we were told that we have to share things with other people (preferably our husbands, but we don't have one of those yet). This is going to be very hard for me, for as all of you know, I'm an extremely private person who doesn't speak about anything I feel or think. Nu, you gotta do what you gotta do. 

And now, before we end, I'm going to introduce something that we've never done before. No, not murder that annoying neighbor. No, not rob Fort Knox (though that would be an interesting experience). Something interactive. We're gonna play a game. A question game. It's called, "Should Hudicus become a garbageman?"

It's a shtickle complicated to learn how to play, so read closely. 

Instructions Manual:

If you think that Hudicus should be a garbageman, comment "yes" below. 

If you think that Hudicus should not be a garbageman, comment "no" below. 

If you are unsure if Hudicus should be a garbageman or not, comment "maybe" below. 

You might need to read those instruction a few times before you fully understand how to master this game. 

And with that, I shall say adieu. 

Toodles from Hoodles!