Pity Candy

Hello Hudinions, (I considered Hudi-minions, but I think this is better)

This past week has been quite weird.

Firstly, I took my Digital Systems final (the second one, actually. If y'all remember from awhile back, I failed the first one.), which got me thinking--the most unusual thing to happen this week. What awesome jobs are out there that don't ask me to pass Digital Systems? And as a true Girl Scout, my motto is "Be prepared…to sell more cookies."

And so, instead of doing the homework and studying that I should have been occupying myself with, I was thinking of some alternative possibilities.

There was my brilliant idea of Professional Sanitation Engineer, the job that would entail overseeing the collection and beautificationness of any district of choice! (Side note: I love using fancy-shmancy words for very boring things. For example, calling a teacher a "Knowledge Navigator." Or a dishwasher a "Crocker Cleansing Operative." Or my personal favorite: "Qualified Unskilled Personnel" for--you guessed it--a politician.)

Anywho, back to my Professional Sanitation Engineering job, in which I would be able to hold onto a moving vehicle one handed, and hopefully not break anything in the process. Which, knowing me, might be relying on a miracle. Need I talk about the time that I broke my ankle by tripping over my laundry basket. To be fair, it was made out of some very hard plastic.

In addition to my expert one-handed driving skills, I would be able to throw objects from far away into this moving vehicle. Finally putting my expert basketball skills to good use.

My dreams of becoming the first ever frum woman to be a professional sanitation engineer came to a rude and abrupt halt when I realized that I hate showering. And I'm a terrible driver. Again, need I remind you of the time when I demolished my school building? Enough said.

So, my thoughts wandered to some more practical jobs, one of them being a shark-Watcher: basically a marine biologist, but without the degree. 

Another one has to do with this game that I'm a shtickle obssessed with: Wordle. If you don't know what it is, you obviously have more of a life than I do. I would love to be the  Daily-Wordle-Word-Commer-Upper so I can finally beat Shana Aleph.

And then my backup to my backup to my backup plan would be a Kenesset/Congress/Parliament Member. Though, honestly, that's kind of my ideal job. You know, since I'm lazy and all. I would get paid to do nothing and I would get nothing done. That's even better than meteorologists, who get paid to lie to all of us people.

So, that was an interesting conservation that I had with myself.

Many other things happened this week. Machon Tal had a fundraiser, where they bribed us all with food, and we called people and asked them to give us money for more food. What a great idea.

Also, I showed everyone my dance moves (or lack thereof).

I also got so many muches of swags. So I'm basically a walking advertisement for Machon Tal. I wonder if I can charge them for that. But I’m only going to wear the sweatshirt to sleep. So I’ll be a sleeping advertiser. So maybe I can charge them for the hours that I sleep, which I will be doing a lot more of, now that I’m dropping out of Machon Tal to become a sanitation engineer.

For Shabbos, I went to my cousins in Ramot. It was a really nice Shabbos. I spoke quite a lot of Hebrew. They told me that they have a shidduch for me. At least I think they did. They might have been telling me that they have a neighbor who just moved in. Again, not great with the Hebrew- but I'm getting better every day! "Shalom, anochi Hudi!"

But I spent some time with the little ones. I am definitely growing on them. This time, they didn't even cry at the sight of me. Just a few sniffles.

Oh, and let me not forget about my pity candy--definitely the highlight of my week! One of my teachers gives out little candies to people who ask good questions or answer his good questions. I was sitting at the front of the class (note to self: don't do that again. Worst. Idea. Ever.), and we were supposed to be writing some code thingy, but I had no idea what to do. So my teacher felt bad that I didn't have a clue what was flying, so he asked me if I wanted a candy. And you think I would say no to a candy? No way. So I took the candy and learned a valuable lesson for life. Pay less attention more often.

I think that's it. To end off, I will leave you with a memorable quotable quote

"Hey, you might marry a rich husband. Key word being: might. So, you know what? In 10 years, I'll be my own rich husband."

And I will leave you all with that to dwell upon. So long, y'all.

Toodles from Hoodles!

P.S. Pity candies to all who can guess who co-wrote this blog with me!