Hudi's Home!

A wise man once said, "Knowing you're a fool is a big step in life." I took that maxim to heart. It sunk in. It's there. It ain't going anywhere. I have taken that big jump in my life and discovered that, indeed, I am a fool. And I'm happy, ecstatic really, with that realization. For only once I came to this epiphany could I be truly content with never understanding C++ homework 9...and computer architecture  lecture...and integrals...and heaps...and MIPS...need I go on? And so, now, content with my fool lot in life, I will try my utmost to make all of you fools with me, killing off brain cells one step at a time, beginning with "Nerdy News." Reporter: "Hudi, what did you do that is Nerdy Newsworthy?" Hoodie: "Um, discovered that I'm a fool." Reporter: "Silly, Hudi. We all knew that a long time ago. Tell us something else." Hoodie: "Well, that just took all the steam out of my boat. Thanks for that. Anywho, movi...

  Shalom, y'all. It's gonna be a long one today. Get ready to lose even more brain cells.  And to begin the brain-cell loss, let's get right into it with a new segment I like to call "Strange Snippets." These quotes, usually overheard by my obnoxious eavesdropping, are now written down for your enjoyment.  We'll begin with my friend, Shloims, who proudly declared about the road: "It's fleeting like a...piece...of...potato!" And then she had this smug smile on her face after she spoke like she had said something incredibly intelligent.  Next up is another friend, who will remain nameless, who so eloquently stated, "I always slap the back of people's hands because I'm self-conscious about my clammy hands." Said friend also, to a brilliant observation made by yours truly ("I can see your face and you can't), replied, "What an odd flex." There's quite a popular saying: "No atheists in a fox hole." We...

The Dorky Daily by Judith Brett: It was the crack of dawn, 5:30 am on a Sunday morning. The first rays of light were streaming in through the sliding door. It was all quiet in the dorm on Ben-tzion street, save for some choking and gasping sounds. Hudicus was in the kitchen, crying.  As she sat on the cold stone floor, her hand clutched the phone next to her ear as if it were a lifeline. The funny thing was...no one was on the other line.  But someone had just spoken to her, two someones to be exact:  Malta and Tzvi. They were engaged, finally. With the mazal tovs ringing out from the phone, Hudicus couldn't keep in her emotion. And so the tears came.  Still in her pajamas, her hair a complete wreck, sitting on the floor in the still apartment, crying buckets of tears, holding an unconnected phone against her ear, Hudicus looked quite... dorky.  So, what you should have gotten from the above article was that my sister is an engaged woman! Did you hear that? She'...

I have found them, at last. After many years of searching and wondering and questioning, I have found another family...who says Tehilas Hashem. Yes, dear Barties. You no longer have to say after the first paragraph, "No one says Tehilas," because my friend's family does say it, in fact. I was all set to mumble it quickly to myself before the bentching began, but then they started singing it, with Hashem's name even, and I was so happy and surprised that I almost cried. But it was Shabbos, so I didn't. But I was very many happies that Shabbos, for other reasons that we will get to shortly.  But, alas, I have begun in the middle of my week, and we should go in order here so everyone can lose their brain cells methodically and periodically. So, let us begin from last week.  I was tired last week, tired and sick and dehydrated. My mono didn't help matters much, either. Neither did all the homework that I had to catch up on, but I was so tired that I just slept all...